Monday, March 14, 2011

please do not strangulate your angel.....

 I need a ranting dance of my fingers on this key board . Something which is bothering the heart can be relieved by this dance of the please read this post if you can take a long rant right now...otherwise a click will take you to more pleasant places around the webworld ...

Paulo Coelho says the angels are chosen by God , as an instrument to convey a good thing to you when you need it the most .... not in the same words but he means this , or as i perceive it. The person who plays an angel , may or may not be a noble soul but he/she has been chosen for the purpose....

God chooses an angel for you when he wants a smile on your face . Even for a moment . The angel sometimes doesn't know she/he is becoming the instrument of a God sent message.

Do you want that angel all for yourself?
For a life time?
Do you feel possessive about the angel?
Do you feel you are worthy enough that the angel be in your service all the time?
Do you strangulate the angel and become a smile starved person once again?

I feel very very uncomfortable when some people call me an angel . Whenever people shower me with words like you are the best thing that happened to my life ....
I am so thankful to God that i found you ...
I am blessed to find you as a friend...
You are an angel ...
(people use big words when they are shallow ...this is my experience)

These adornments makes me really uncomfortable because i have seen many of these people expecting a lot of things from me , taking me for granted ...ignoring all my discomfort very conveniently. I am one person who believes in selfless giving ( although i cannot afford to give away fortunes ) , so it is my time , my emotions and few more things which a little money can buy . I accommodate even when it is a bit stringent for limits are stretched sometimes but i still believe in being useful for someone who needs it.

Should that be a problem ??

The problem arises when people start to walk over me. They know that it takes a lot to say no for a person like me. It really hurts when someone is insensitive and imposes some work or expects some 'gifts' just because they need it at the time and it doesn't matter for them if that is okay for me at that time.... exploitation is a bigger word but this tendency touches the limits of the thing called so. It is definitely an act of cheating on a different level.

My ranting is not done yet....are you still reading?
Thank you.

I hate lies and can't tolerate people lying and playing cool at the same do they think that i can't get it . Just because i keep quite and don't point a finger at your lie?
And what these people do to hide the lie ....they assert the lie repeatedly , intentionally and even without a context . Sadly .

They loose the respect by being so assertive and repetitive with the lies , they loose the respect even for the good qualities they have .

How can i respect a person even on a human ground if he/she has been doing all the wrong things and expecting all the best things from me . I am no saint. I am sorry if that is what is expected from me.


  1. That's not a problem at all. Just be urself! So with u on this post.

  2. One thing that needs to be understood here by both the person in question as well as the "angel" is that the Angel is just a messenger and a guide. Angel cannot and will not run our lives, so to speak. It would be a folly if either one or both of them expect the Angel to do so. When the Angel starts feeling suffocated, I guess, it is time for the angel to understand that she has done the maximum she could and perhaps it is time now for her to retreat. It might be a painful for the Angel to take this step, but it is essential not only for her own survival but also for the growth of the other person. Because becoming dependent on anyone is parasitic and such a person will not be able to stand on her own if she can easily find someone to lean on. So obviously it is actually for that person's benefit only that you have to decide to withdraw support. It does sound cruel but I am sure you understand it isn't, because you know that the other person is capable enough to flourish on her own.

  3. Thank for this lucid understanding Amrita...
    I want to hug you right now :)
    It has always been so difficult for me to covey my discomfort..

  4. Where can i find this angel.. I am so much in need of some or atleast ONE..


  5. Hey strangulate or to be able to bring a smile???

  6. I think it is good to be aware of what's happening and also to be able to stop being an angel when one is not feeling like one, I know it's not easy though... sometimes we just find it difficult to disappoint others!

  7. Nobody can try and become an angel IHM...
    This is the thing when the person concerned uses big words to describe you ...that is what i feel is being shallow and manipulative at the same time.

    And it is all the more irritating when you know the situation and can see through every lie and every excuse...and can't point out a finger at the lie....this is my limitation. I would never point out the person to keep shut and i would never react if he/she is being harsh and will just keep eating me up.

    Unfortunately, the person gets an impression that 'the angel' is gullible and keeps repeating the lie to prove a point and to assert more ...

    Anyway...i hope this rant , which is looking ugly to me right now , helps me find out solutions with myself.

  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

  9. Simple words yet a very deep and impeccable meaning.

  10. Thank you Crash Override...I find simple words more effective when i want to communicate some convoluted things :)

  11. This depth n impeccability........ is THE problem...ha ha ha...On a serious note, as u said its very difficult to be harsh or rude, in fact react in any manner. But I feel if that person is part of your life, whom you really cant ignore its better to react, or else there is no other way to get out of this.
    We cannot change the other person , so we should try to change our own traits and not let anyone take us for granted. Well.......thats also kinda manipulation, I know....because we don't design our behaviour and thought process..its the result of our evolution, so if we have to keep changing it now n then ...indeed it is also manipulation to some extent, but Dear its a matter of survival. If you keep stretching yourself YOU WILL BREAK...So u just hv to set that finish line of tolerance..if I may put it like this.

  12. hmmm...have been trying to do that Tapati.
    Thanks for understanding , and for all those sweet words.

    BTW Thanks to everybody who connected with me on this post. Published or unpublished.

    ...I received a few long comments on this post with requests not to publish...the ones who have suffered such people in silence have all experienced that those people have a very clear idea of what they are doing .... and are ready to belittle you the moment you react..saying...oh what are you saying...i never meant that.... or ohh..i was just trying to be helpful as you need company at this point of time....making you feel guilty for reacting immediately...

    yes , three people confirmed to this kinda behavior right after this post ( requesting to be unpublished) i guess being quite is the only way and learning with the experience is the key as always...

    Those people are anyways making all their angels hurt and i guess i should let them have their way....this post was a reaction in my own way , the way i could put it :)