Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Caught in a wrong warp of time ?

I felt so guilty for saying no to a lady who ringed my bell just ten minutes back.
She asked me if I needed some pads, when I said no she asked if I needed some lipsticks. My voice raised a bit and I said no I do not want it. Please go.

And then my heart just sank. I saw the lady returning , she had a slight limp, the way arthritis makes older people walk. The lady was about fifty five I noticed. My immediate thought was why is she doing it? She could have done something better. In a better way probably. She is carrying a large bag on the shoulder one side and a hand held jhola in the other hand, probably lipsticks. Henna dyed hair and empty large eyes.
Voice was very polite. Beta pads chahiye?

A no and then a stronger no from this door...please aap jayiye...

I felt the sinking some more. A thought came she might be hired from someone to market these products. Or she might be buying these from some wholesale market and selling to meet ends. I was thinking why some people keep struggling this way while some others make money almost instantly. Why there seems to be no rhyme in such comparisons.

May be this is her time to learn more about the world.
Or there is a realisation she still is deprived of.
Or a reality she has been in denial of.

I just prayed for her to find a new way to reach where she wants to.