Monday, February 14, 2011

being ambitious and being a mother....

Someone was talking to me about being ambitious , about being a mother and not being able to spend time with the 4 year old child .

Why my parents made me so ambitious that i can't look beyond my career and spend time with my child . Even when i am home and the child wants to play with me i know i am thinking or planning something else when i should be playing whole heartedly with my child. All the workload descends on me whenever my child asks me to play with him and i get irritated and snap on him or just keep multitasking while playing with the son....the reason why i am concerned is that my son doesn't bond with me well and i feel he feels alienated . Also i am noticing that whenever i go to his room when he is alone , he gets startled and almost scared , as if he withdraws all his playful tentacles and encloses himself into a hard shell whenever i am close to him.....what to do ???

The mother looked harried and pale and shaken . The only sparkle of dimmest light came to her face when she talked about her ambition and what projects she is working on. Making it lucid , i repeat it was still a very dim sallow sparkle.

Does your ambition leads you to this state of mind ?

Playing with your child with your heart and soul in unison , you could be reviving your own energies too . A revived , energetic , happy companion is all a child needs . Not a hovering helicopter who instructs to do this and to do that too . Not at all a half hearted playmate.

You can make your life beautiful with a baby around . The innocence and candid laughter touches your soul and makes the life worth living .
Are you letting your ambition destroy your happiness , your life ?

Do you think your ambition is the sole solace of your life ?

I sound very harsh when i ask why do you need a child when you don't have the time to enjoy the childhood of your own kid . In the process you destroy the childhood of you own kid .

I am not against being ambitious and chasing your dreams .

If you dream about a professional position , does it mean you should not enjoy life ?

I would also want to ask a question about the ambition , the dream of making it big.
Is the ambition about making it big professionally or being happy and contented in life in general? About having a family and kids who love you and care for you , and you care for them. 

You worked hard for your professional degrees and to rise . To the position you like.

You did absolutely nothing worthwhile to get married and to bear that child who is the biggest worry of your life today .

Bearing a child doesn't need any qualification or ambition , sadly.
Oh wait , there is a tendency to fit in the society by getting married and having children , you bear children because you want to look perfect.


Can you pick up the professional ambition and place it on a higher pedestal ?

Higher than the 'life' . The 'life' you so miss when the child is alienated from you and the family scene never happens even when you have decided to marry and have a family.

You chose your ambition and you chose to have a family . The ambition eats you up and the family becomes a punching bag . A refuse . An irritable entity in your life. A nagging reminder of the things to do list.

You expect your child to love you , come running to you happily when you come home and wrap his arms around you . Comfort you after work (smirk)....but your child is not doing all of that .... what is wrong with him.... how to make him straight??

Balance .

The child has the birthright to be nurtured . Nature is reminding you . Take notice.

Note : the thought was actually gnawing at my heart since i encountered this . The post has come out like a preaching tone . Excuse me for that . I got my slice of peace back after writing this....bash me if you don't agree ...i am ready to take it...