my tryst with trust and my learning journey with it...

TRUST, is a healing balm to my heart. TRUST people around you my friend, it helps find you happiness and peace even if you don't need healing.

I am saying this after having trust issues for a few years. Trust people around you so your soul guides you towards light. Trust people around you so you develop better instincts, better gut feelings and better insights into inspiring lives so abundant around us. ALL the time. Distrust is negative and counterproductive. Distrust and doubt guides you negatively and corrupts your gut feelings, your instincts. Life made me learn my own lessons, some of course we learn seeing others too.

I have had my share of trauma, my share of grief and the way SOME people behave when one is undergoing a traumatic phase in life, makes one a little afraid of ALL people in general. That made me angry in my own heart, I always found it more traumatic when I lost respect for people around me. Even the basic respect you have for all human beings around yourself, loosing that is painful for me, although the concerned person stays unaffected and keeps on doing the same to others, unaware that their acts of hurting people are gnawing at their own souls as well, sometimes they don't even know it.

Being the incorrigible optimist, I could bring myself to a place where I can see if a person repeatedly cheats on you, hurts you or stabs in the back, is a person who him/herself is not at peace. So I learnt to not get affected by other people's misgivings, their acts of cheating, hurting purposefully and belittling others around them. They were not actually cheating on me or hurting me, they were following their instinct, corrupted instinct, that had become their behavioral pattern.

It has been tough to accept it sometimes when I have trusted someone, have held them closer to my heart and have given them access to my life and those people have cheated, been hurtful and insulting. Some of them were my family members too. Being the believer that I am, and also because I could not believe one was cheating on me, I gave them second chances, gave them benefit of doubt and just let them be. I secretly hoped they would learn their lessons and realise what they were doing and to my delight SOME of them actually realised and rehabilitated themselves on a larger level. THOSE were the people who are capable to grow in life, evolve and become better human beings, learn their lessons before it gets too late.

But SOME OTHERS were not so lucky. They kept on doing what they knew best as a coping up mechanism of stress; the coping up mechanism in this case being hurting others, cheating everyone around and so on. And it was THIS KIND OF PEOPLE that made me believe that they actually don't break my trust but they are deeply insecure people in their own lives, and don't know how to deal with it. And they become violent in their acts and thought process. They stab you in your back, they badmouth you or they just try and belittle you in some way or the other.

No trust was broken in this case. It was my perception that someone broke my trust, cheated on me or such but they were just following their instinct* as a coping up mechanism (stress physiology has been part of my subject, stress psychology we learn as we grow).

Years and decades passed as I watched these people I am talking about and my belief got stronger. The ones who learnt their lessons evolved, those who didn't, are still in the deep pit.

*Our instinct guides us rightly only is we let it do it's work by accepting all the truths that come our way. Distrusting is like blocking a certain spectrum of nature's truths and depriving our own instinct to flow uninhibited. How can half truths guide our soul?

If you are afraid of being hurt you must know the small hurts are our lessons towards evolving, towards awakening and totally worth it. That's how I see it and I never distrust people even if I get hurt a few times. But I wont say that I don't stay away from people who feel negative to me. Bad vibes affect me and I try and stay away from those people or dissociate with them quickly, without a feeling of loss. And believe me, this capability of dissociating with people without a feeling of loss or staying away from all negative people, recognizing those people most of the times, comes from the TRUST that I have in people around me. I never doubt them in normal circumstances.

I am not saying it makes one perfect and I am not a perfect believer either, but it does help me improve myself, it does bring peace to my mind, it does make me believe in the patterns of nature while I learn more about life in general. Lesson are never absolute, never complete. I am a work in progress.

I have a few very very close people whom I trust, confide my innrrmost feelings and those are the ones I can't dissociate whatever happens on the trust scene. Nothing is an absolute truth you see.

For now I learnt that I need not stop trusting people. Trusting people around me makes my soul enriched, happy and contented. Distrusting people makes me deeply unhappy, grumpy and stops me from evolving into a better person. Distrust gnaws into the soul, the mind and eventually the body of the beholder as well.

Distrust stops me from finding good souls and connecting with them. What a looser I would be if I distrust a good soul? Trust me.